bronzebilly (a.k.a.Eddie Silva)

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The Drunk

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.
Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.
In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging! his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.
As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard (barely containing his laughter) who had watched the whole incident walked up and asked, "What the heck is going on here?"
The drunk, still staring down replied: "I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost".

my workmate "Smiffy"s father John Smith (ex-M.F.I.) recently passed away.
his grandson Daniel Smith wrote this moving eulogy to his "Bampy" and has allowed me to share it with you:-

A tribute to our Bampy,
Years may go by
And although we may cry
We shall never forget
Forever in our hearts you're set
Bamp we love you dearly,
Though we may not see you clearly
You're in our hearts,our souls,our minds
Not a single thought is left behind
For this is not goodbye
Nowhere near the end
We shall see you soon
Our Bamp our friend,
We bid you farewell and forever goodnight
You no longer had the will to fight,
We loved you in life and in death evermore,
Spread your wings Bamp,
        Fly....
       Soar...!

     by Daniel Smith

Never Lick an Envelope!

A woman was working in a post office in California.

One day she licked the envelopes and postage stamps instead of

Using a sponge. That very day the lady found a cut on her tongue.

A week later, she noticed an abnormal swelling of her tongue. She

went to the doctor, and they found nothing wrong. Her tongue was not

sore

or anything. A couple of days later, her tongue started to swell

more, and it began to get really sore, so sore, that she could not eat.

She went back to the hospital, and demanded something be done. The doctor

took an x-ray of her tongue and noticed a lump. He prepared her for

minor surgery. When the doctor cut her tongue open, a live cockroach

crawled out!!!!

There were cockroach eggs on the seal of the envelope. The egg was

able to hatch inside of her tongue, because of her saliva. It was warm and moist...

This is a true story reported on CNN

Andy Hume wrote:

Hey, I used to work in an envelope factory. You wouldn't believe

the....things that float around in those gum applicator trays. I

haven't licked an envelope for years!"

I used to work for a print shop(32 years ago) and we were told

NEVER to lick the envelopes. I never understood why until I had to go

into storage and pull out 2500 envelopes that were already printed and

saw several squads of cockroaches roaming around inside a couple of

boxes with eggs everywhere. They eat the glue on the envelopes.

fact or fiction???